The Peaceful and Just revision page #162

I am working hard on this chapter. I didn’t realize it needed it so badly, but my editor let me know by telling me that she totally lost focus on the story at the end of the chapter. That is a sign that, even though I thought I knew what was going on, I really didn’t, and I definitely wasn’t communicating it to the reader. So I’m back in, revising it. At first I couldn’t even look at it. I wasn’t interested.

Now that I have reworked it a little bit, I see that the missing pieces are in the development of Niisteen, and in the politics of Malvada. I need to delve deeper into that character, and those of the other four vallains of the wards. There is more going on in Malvada than the companions know, and since I have been relating my tale from their perspective I haven’t done enough to explore the backgrounds and the roles of the vallains of the four wards.

Delving deeper into that, I realized that Niisteen, Von de Veld, Da’ai Timon, and Jehanne Mondragon (the vallain of Chalcis) would all have come together for a meeting of some sort once they were able to do so using Niisteen’s empties. Then I had to figure out their individual motivations. They work for the wards, and the wards wish to be reunited. For what reason do the wards wish to be reunited? To usher the pallbearers back to Earth, of course. Even though the four vallains agree that this is the final goal, the way they plan to do it and their individual goals may be kept secret from one another, and they make work at cross-purposes depending on how they see the balance of power aligning in Malvada.

Now I know that the brunos flee Algodon because Jehanne breeds them for manpower and treats them as slaves working for her goals. I know that Niisteen wishes to control all the wealth of Malvada when the pallbearers return. Von de Veld, before his death, wished to become the champion,  immortal, and therefore the supreme leader of Malvada and the four wards. And Da’ai Timon, being a linearist, remains silent and wise. These four wards and four vallains will play a large part in The Peaceful, Brave, and Just. I need to understand their motivations, and the way they will affect my companions, before I can move on.

See, it’s good to go back and revisit things that need it.